Friday, February 11, 2011


On the eve of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd offer up some thoughts...

What a wretched holiday, celebrating love and pair bonding and procreation when one in three marriages ends in divorce and their family life is irrevocably shattered.

On last evening's Bones, Seeley Booth proposes to Hannah but she turns him down (she's not the "marrying kind"). Profoundly heartbroken and despondent, Booth becomes very cynical and down on the entire female gender. He has now been rejected by three women to whom he gave his heart and soul. (The first gave him a son.)

One sympathizes.

On Dr. Phil, a 35-year-old woman has been preparing an elaborate wedding in anticipation of meeting her soulmate by the Valentine's Day 2011 deadline. (She recently gave up and donated her wedding to a deserving couple.) Like most women, she sought joy and bliss in "marriage" but what she really wanted was a grand wedding.

Talk of soulmates and marital bliss always makes me puke. It's a fantasy that is constantly promulgated in our society, and Valentine's Day is the pinnacle of this manipulative tradition.

Don't accuse me of being a cynic or a pessimist. I am merely offering my observations of the real world. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Indeed, it should be glorified. It is only our annoying genetic predisposition that causes us to fight loneliness. Learn to embrace solitude. Own it. Build a cathedral to it.

In the final analysis, it is all simply a state of mind. And the mind, as we all know, is infinitely malleable...

"I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."
Henry David Thoreau

"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."
Orson Welles

"A man can be himself only so long as he is alone."
Arthur Schopenhauer

"All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone."
Jean de la Bruyere

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